Enough already! I’m heading for a larger dress size yet again. And while I can pretend all these extra pounds jumped on my innocent frame because I’m “big boned” or “not doing enough exercise” or “a bunch of monster chocolate mousses forced themselves on me” you and I both know the truth. I can’t resist, no how, no way, your divine double chocolate brownies. I’ve tried and tried. Really I have. Every time I approach your nearest branch on Lexington Avenue, I start my incantation: “No. No brownie for you today. Be strong. Be tough. Do you want to end up a big chubbo? No. No way. ”
Most of the time this little pep talk works. I get past the Starbucks door, then the entire establishment. Yay! Made it. But oh no, there’s another Starbucks just around the corner on Third Avenue. And ANOTHER one two blocks north. And no matter which direction I turn, there are still MORE Starbucks lying in wait with their brownie treasures. It’s getting boring, this tedious, ongoing lecture to keep myself from scarfing down yet another you know what.
Clearly, dear Starbucks, it’s time for a big change of direction here. How about we try something new — a win-win situation for both of us. How about raising the prices on your double chocolate brownies? And not by a little — but by a LOT. Plenty of people would pay a heck of a lot more moolah for those heavenly chocolate concoctions. Of course I wouldn’t. And that’s where the price increase would benefit us both. Your profits would increase and I would stop buying brownies left and right. The more money you charge, the more my frugal (some might say cheap) side would kick in. No longer considering those brownies a bargain price, I’d start rationing my purchases, eating those luscious things at a sensible, more moderate rate. And that dreaded larger dress size would be cut off at the pass.
So whatcha say Starbucks? Why not raise the prices on your double chocolate brownies and make both of us happy. And richer, thanks to more jingle in both our pockets.