Most readers get to my blog after fairly mundane Google searches. But some of these information seekers arrive with such peculiar, downright oddball queries, I can’t help but wonder about them. Here are a few of those singular queries (in bold italic, spelling and grammar uncorrected):
“Which procedure is less expensive for funeral – creamation or freeze dried” ~ Are we discussing human bodies here or coffee?
“Swedish Body Disposal system” ~ “Disposal” sounds a bit harsh, but heck, we’re talking about a process inspired by a backyard mulch garden in Sweden – a procedure that turns a corpse into a pile of powder that is ultimately transformed into soil compost. Don’t know about you, but no way I want Grandma and Grandpa fertilizing my lawn. *
“My house was surrounded by big fat green caterpillar” ~ Wow! Just how “big” exactly was that caterpillar? Or how tiny is your house?
“Moths on man’s legs” ~ Why ever would multiple moths in India — where this query originated — congregate on a man’s legs? Too creepy to contemplate, let alone visualize. **
“Afraid to tell landlord i have mice” ~ Are you kidding? I couldn’t WAIT to dump MY mouse invasion on my landlord.
“Mouse feet” ~ Why ask only about feet here? And are they even called feet? Claws? Paws? Hmmm…Can a foot fetish be extended to include mice?
“Tenant rights new york mice in stove” ~ Don’t those mice ever leave the stove? What’s going on there? Rodent stove parties?
“Stove that rodents cannot get into” ~ What is it with stove and mice combos? And by “rodents” I KNOW we’re talking mice here and not their giant cousins. And if a mice-proof stove WAS ever invented, wouldn’t that have to mean no tiny openings — which would mean no ventilation — which would further mean a metal box that, when lighted, would explode more or less like a humongous bomb. ***
“Big saving by shoplifting” ~ Is this a veteran shoplifter I can’t help wondering, or a wanna be? Also Curious what this Tokyo query means by “big.” Are we talking designer clothes here? Furs? Jewels? Or something lower down the style ladder? And will all those super duper-shoplifting savings earn this mystery visitor a fast ticket to a Japanese jail cell?)****
“Chamber of the skeleton” ~ Totally stumped by this. Sounds poetic, but what EVER could this person be searching for? Wouldn’t the chamber of a skeleton refer to its’ whole body? Or is there some kind of official chamber for a skeleton, minus its’ flesh, I don’t know about? *****
Have any peculiar search queries pointed visitors to YOUR site?
These Google search queries, gathered by Statcounter, targeted these posts:
- * Will Your Green Funeral Include Water Cremation?
- ** Murder among the Geraniums
- *** My Uptown Mice War
- **** Tales of Big Apple Shoplifters
- ***** Upper East Side Ghosts and Halloween Quotes
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