We’re all familiar with cozy Christmas quotations, such as “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus…” and “Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house…” So for a change of pace, here are some Christmas quotes with a bit more zing…

“Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there’s the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still to come in.”—Marcelene Cox

“I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark.” — Dick Gregory

“There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.”— P.J. O’Rourke

“Have you any old grudges you would like to pay,
Any wrongs laid up from a bygone day?
Gather them now and lay them away
When Christmas comes.
Hard thoughts are heavy to carry, my friend,
And life is short from beginning to end;
Be kind to yourself, leave nothing to mend
When Christmas comes.”—William Lytle

“Of course, this is the season to be jolly, but it is also a good time to be thinking about those who aren’t.”—Helen Valentine

“If you want me to sing this Christmas song with the feeling and the meaning, you better see if you can locate that check.”—Mahalia Jackson

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” —Ken Hubbard

“At last the anchor was up, the sails were set, and off we glided. It was a sharp, cold Christmas; and as the short northern day merged into night, we found ourselves almost broad upon the wintry ocean, whose freezing spray cased us in ice, as in polished armor.”—Herman Melville

You might also be interested in photos: Christmas Lights in NYC.

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